Broken
by Murcielago Released
Summary: She didn't want to love anyone ever again. Losing a lover is so painful. But the world is cruel for not letting you choose who you love.
1. Chapter 1

The group I traveled with had such a depressing air to it that I thought I would drown in it. Every one of them had lost something dear to them, or had their dreams crushed. Joachim and Anastasia were a little brighter than the others, but they still had some sort of regret or sadness about them that added to the thick, melancholic air. They would all try to hide it, but my damned powers made it all slap me in the face, pick up on their moods and sometimes even their thoughts. While I was grateful to them for giving me a place among them, to have a purpose, I kind of wished I hadn't come with them. Everyone else's misery was making my own magnify.

"So, Kisa," came a light voice from the other side of the fire. We had to camp out tonight instead of staying in a hotel tonight, seeing as we didn't make it to the nearest town before sundown. We were on our way to where Roger left his airship.

It was Karin who had spoken, most likely trying to break the stagnant silence that added to the misery around us. "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Russia, but my ancestry is German." I made a gesture at my blond curly hair and bright green eyes. "Germans are stereotyped to look like me. But you probably have heard that, since you're German. Koenig is a German name, isn't it?"

Karin nodded. "It is. Though sometimes I wish I was born under another name. It's a burden carrying the one I have." Her aura turned almost black as she dropped her gaze to the ground. She had lost her entire family. She was the last Koenig left. God, I hated my powers.

"You shouldn't feel so bad about losing your family," I told her quietly. Everyone else was asleep, each of us taking shifts to keep watch, and I didn't want to wake them. "It's sad, yes, but you have to think of how your family would feel if they knew you were blaming yourself over their deaths."

"How did you know I lost my family?" she asked, tears brimming her eyes. Her words were almost a whisper.

I gave her a skeptical look. "You had to have wondered how I dodge attacks so well with my...figure." I wasn't what people would call 'fit'. "The only reason I do so well in battle is because I have a supernatural sense of things." She should feel special being the first person in the world to know my power. The others didn't even know yet—I guess they just thought I was a naturally good fighter or something. I just figured that since this was a weird bunch, I'd fit in okay with my power out in the open.

"You mean...you can read minds?"

I hesitated. "Well, not exactly. It's not often I can read complete thoughts from someone unless they're incredibly strong, or I'm really close to that person. All I can tell you is that the sadness coming off of all of you is making me feel like I'm suffocating. I can relate to all of you guy's sadness, and that's why I know what's bothering all of you. Yuri lost his lover, Gepetto his niece, you your family, Anastasia is worried about her family, Lucia about someone back in Florence, Joachim about why he left home..."

"Why _did _Joachim leave his home?" Karin asked, intrigued.

"If you don't know yet, it isn't my place to tell. He might not want anyone to know."

She gave me a dejected look, then turned her gaze to the stars. "You say you relate to our sadness."

"Yes."

There was a long silence, and I knew that she knew that I knew that she wanted me to explain why, since I had my special gift to pick up on it. I sighed.

"Believe it or not, I had a fiancee."

"No way," she gasped. "But you're only 17!"

I laughed. "I thought for sure you'd be more surprised I had a fiancee because of my weight, not my age."

Karin shook her head. "Looks never matter in love. I guess age doesn't either, but I never expected someone so young to be ready to settle like that. Besides, there isn't anything wrong with your weight. Some people can't help it."

I liked this girl. "Thanks," I said, smiling. "It's nice to know someone thinks that. I get called a lot of ugly names because of my weight. It isn't like I eat a lot, either. My body just keeps storing everything up. A doctor told me a few years ago that I was born without the thing the burns the fat in my body during exercise, so though my body only stores a little bit from my food, it builds up over time. It's how I've gotten so big."

"Can't they just...I don't know, open you up and take out the fat?"

I shook my head. "Not many people live from surgery, because of infection. I get scraped up enough in fights, so there's no way I'm letting someone cut me open by my own free will."

"Well, all the stuff getting stored like that...it will have to give you health problems later down the line."

"I'll take care of it when I get those health problems, then. Though I don't see the point, since if I die, no one would really notice."

"We would!" Karin nearly shouted. I shushed her.

"Only because I'm traveling with you. It's hard not to notice someone of my size going missing."

"You're our friend," she growled adamantly. "We would give our lives to help you. It's hard not to get attached to someone you've been with for three weeks."

"Tell me about it," I murmured. "I hate myself for getting attached to people I meet. I'll just end up losing you all, just like everyone else."

Silently, Karin rose from her side of the fire and came over to sit by me, putting her arm around my shoulders in a sort of half-hug type thing. "You aren't ever going to lose us. Maybe someday we won't see each other for a long time, but we'll always be with you. Right here." She pointed to my chest, where my heart was. "All of us will always be in each other's hearts. Just like everyone you've met is still there. My family is in mine." She paused a moment. "Sometimes, I get sad thinking about how I won't see them for a long, long time. But remembering that they're out there, watching over me, it makes me a little happier. You just have to keep going on, doing what makes you happy."

I nodded. "You're right, Karin. But so help me god, I'm never going to fall in love again. It's one thing to lose close friends and beloved family members, but it's an entirely different thing to lose your lover."

Karin and I cast simultaneous glances over at Yuri. I knew what he was going through. I was going through it to. But Karin was right—I had to move on with my life. No one would be happy if they knew I was mulling over their deaths. I would lament the parting of my new friends greatly, whether it be because of death or just going our own ways, but I wouldn't let myself go through losing a lover again. There is no pain to describe what losing them was like.

"Hey, it's Anastasia and Joachim's turn to keep watch."

Dragging my eyes away from Yuri, I cast a smile at her. "About time! I'm beat. All of you guys's feelings has made me dead tired."

"And walking all day doesn't make you tired?" she asked, returning my smile.

"Psh, naw! You would know what I mean if you know what I had to put up with you guys. It's not like I can block it out."

Her smile softened a little. "I promise I'll try to be considerate of you from now on."

I shook my head. "It isn't like you can just shut off your emotions. Even I can't do that. Just don't worry about it, 'kay?"

"Alright," she replied with a nod. "Now let's get those two up so they can take over. We need our sleep, and we have a long flight with Roger tomorrow to Japan."


	2. Chapter 2

Japan is the coolest place ever. I only say that, though, because I've always had a special place inside for Asians. There aren't too many Asian people back in Europe, and getting to see the Orient side of the world is an experience I'll always remember. Especially how I tried to stop myself from fan-girling over everything. I had an image to keep up.

Sadly, we were cooped up in an abandoned warehouse, so I had nothing to look at but a bunch of grungy people. The airship had crashed somewhere in a forest, and Yuri was sick, so he was laying in the back sleeping it off. I made the observation that he wasn't so great with things that rocked a lot.

"I'm going out," I said abruptly, standing up. "I can't be cooped up like this. I need to go and...I don't know, think."

Everyone exchanged glances. "I don't think it's such a good idea to go out right now, young lady," Gepetto warned. "It's not entirely a safe place in Japan right now. You know why we're here."

"I know, but don't worry. I can handle myself."

"I think it would be a better idea if one of us came with you," Karin said.

The reason I wanted to go by myself was so I could let out my held-in fan-girling. I couldn't do that in front of any of these guys. "No, really, I'll be fine," I insisted, trying to keep a civil smile on my face.

"At least take Blanca with you," Gepetto interjected, waving over at the white wolf that accompanied them. I studied Blanca, and he seemed to straighten when Gepetto said his name, then looked at me expectantly. He was just as smart as any human, but luckily he couldn't talk, therefore he was unable to tell anyone about any outbursts I had. He was a heck of a fighter, too.

"I don't think Blanca would enjoy hanging around me all day."

Blanca growled what I believe was in disagreement to my words, and cantered to my side.

"See? He wants to make sure you'll be okay and are safe, like us. If you're wanting to go and do something that you don't want us to know about, Blanca can keep your secret."

I felt my face getting hot. "I have no secrets! Now if you excuse me, I have some...erm...thinking to do! Come on, Blanca!"

Blanca followed after me as I stormed out of the storeroom. I stopped about a hundred paces away, taking in my surroundings. It was dark when we first arrived, so I couldn't really see what the place looked like. It was kind of dreary here, and even though the sun was shining brightly, the damp colors made me think of a rainy day. There were a few guys walking around, the kind of guys you see working in the furnace room of a ship or something like that-guys with black smudges all over them and big sweat stains on their shirts. They were all thin, too, like everyone else we saw coming into the country. And of course they were Asian. But none of them were my type, so I was able to keep my wild side locked up.

I looked down at Blanca, who was gazing up at me, waiting for me to lead him to wherever it was I wanted to go. "You have to promise not to tell anyone what you see when we get into town."

Blanca tilted his head questioningly, and I kicked myself mentally for talking to a dog. But hey, I knew he knew what I was saying.

"I like Asian guys. So I want to go and check some out. Just to look, you know?"

A growling noise came from deep within Blanca's throat, almost as if he was laughing at me. There was also a distinctive look in his eyes that said, "Just to look, eh?"

"Yes, just to look!" I replied angrily. "Don't make fun of me for the things I like!"

He just stared at me, a smile clearly on his maw.

"Don't look at me like that."

I started walking again, Blanca padding along by my side. He whined an apology and nudged my hand, and I absently stroked his head. "It's okay. People pick on the ones they love. That's how it was in my family. If you didn't get picked on and teased, you weren't loved." I chuckled and looked down at him. "So don't worry. But that means I have to get you back, though."

He started to whine a complaint, but he got cut off when someone came out of nowhere and literally knocked me over. I heard myself go "omph!" in unison with the person who tackled me before meeting the ground painfully.

"Well, EXCUSE you," I choked out, shoving the person off of me and standing up. I wiped the dirt off of myself as he apologized. My pants were torn in several different places now, and there was a big hole in my shirt where the rail on the tracks caught my shirt.

"I'm so sorry, miss! I didn't mean to, but I'm in a hurry and-"

I lost what he was saying as I looked at him. He was young, my age I would say, with deep red eyes and dark hair. He wore purple hakama and a fall decorated kimono, with a sword at his side. A feeling welled up inside of me, and it wasn't my fan-girl feeling. I couldn't put my finger on it what it was, as if it was something I felt a long time ago and couldn't remember.

The sight of half a dozen soldiers with drawn guns, pointed at us, shocked me into reality. I was in danger. Blanca was in danger. This guy, he was in danger too. "No!" I screamed, holding out my hand as if it would stop them. I don't know why, but it looked as if the soldiers just threw their guns away. They seemed confused after the guns left their hands, and just stood there. "Leave us alone!" I yelled at them. "We didn't do anything!"

The soldiers seemed to hesitate before turning around and just walking away, not even bothering to go and gather up their guns.

I turned my attention back to Blanca and the samurai. "Are you guys okay?"

They were both in an attack stance, ready for if the soldiers turned around and came back at us. "How did you get them to turn away like that?" asked the samurai, loosening up a little. "Do you know them? Are you one of them?"

"No, I just..." I hesitated. "I was just out for a walk. You were the one that ran into me!"

"Again, I'm sorry, miss. But like I said, I have to hurry. My friends are in trouble."

"I want to help you."

"It's too dangerous."

"Bull! I'm a better fighter than-"

"This is no matter for a lady-"

"I'M HELPING YOU." I didn't like people thinking that just because I was a girl, or just because I was fat, that I wasn't meant for battle.

He held up his hands. "Alright! Just...follow me then."

I followed after him with a smug expression, happy to have gotten my way. Then again, I would have followed him anyway regardless of his reaction. I had a feeling I could take him.

"Kind of bossy, aren't you?"

"What did you say?" I yelled at the samurai angrily.

"I didn't say anything, miss," he said calmly, keeping his eyes ahead of him.

"I said that." I looked down to my side, and Blanca was looking up at me. "I just assumed you could understand what I was saying all along, since your replies to me were always accurate enough to assume so."

"Oh my god, the dog is talking to me. I can officially be labeled as insane."

"I'm a wolf!" Blanca snapped. "There is a large difference!"

A swirling of unfamiliar minds was charging towards us from the other side of a corner we were about to round. I ignored Blanca and grabbed the back of the samurai's kimono, yanking him backwards and jumping around the corner to meet three armed soldiers. I let my instincts take over and, with the help of my heightened senses, took them down by myself in less than ten seconds. The first one I simply chopped on the side of his neck, and he fell instantly. The second didn't know what was going on and I was able to knock him right in the face. I don't know if he was unconscious from that or if he was just playing dead not to get hurt. The third was more aware of me and tried to defend himself by knocking me in the face with the butt of his gun, but I ducked and placed my hands on the ground for support and whipped my leg up to get him in the chin. He fell backwards and began scrambling to his feet, but I swung my leg around and struck him on the side of his face. He was too close to the wall, so my kick gave his face a head-on collision with it, and he was done.

"That was amazing!" the samurai said. "How on earth did you know they were there?"

"I have good hearing," I said dismissively, waving off the subject.

"KURANDO!" came the annoying shriek of what was no doubt a child. Sure enough, a young girl came out from behind a huge stack of wood.

"Princess!" the samurai called back, rushing over to her. They didn't embrace, but he looked her over to make sure she wasn't harmed. I realized I already knew who she was from the samurai's thoughts. This was Yoshiko Kawashima, his master's daughter. His master was Naniwa Kawashima. I also wondered why I didn't realize I already knew his name was Kurando.

An old man stepped out next. "I'm glad to see you Kurando. Thank you for coming for us."

Kurando nodded. "Of course, master."

"And who are your friends here?"

"Oh, I don't know. I kind of ran into them, and they helped me. I really didn't do anything at all. She did everything." Kurando gestured to me.

"It was nothing, really," I said. "The soldiers were just stupid. It wasn't hard."

"Can I ask the name of our two heroes?" the older man asked.

"My name is Kisa. And this here is Blanca."

"Aw, he looks more like a Snowball to me," Yoshiko said.

I smiled. "That can be his nickname! You can call him that if you like."

Blanca looked up at me incredulously. "What?"

"I had to do something to get back at you," I whispered to him.

"Really?" Yoshiko squealed, excited. "Yay!"

The old man cut in. "My name is Naniwa, this is my daughter Yoshiko, and of course I'm sure you already know that this is Kurando. Thank you very much for helping us."

"I didn't have anything else to do anyway," I said. I didn't mention I already knew who they were and why they were in danger.

"It seems as though you got a little scraped up though," Naniwa noted.

I cast a glare over in Kurando's direction. "Yeah, some things just _knock me down_ about fighting. I'll be fine."

"You can't very well go around looking like that, though. Why don't you come back to the inn with us, and we can set you up with some new clothes and perhaps a bath as thanks."

"You did NOT just say the b word. I'm so in!"

On our way to the inn, I conversed with Naniwa. I told him how I was there with friends, but they were busy right now so I had some free time, and that he didn't have to explain why he was being chased like that, that I already knew. He marveled at my knowledge despite having just come from Europe, but ultimately let it go. Kurando was silent the whole time, his eyes never leaving my face. I adamantly ignored his gaze as well as his thoughts, though I have no idea why. On a normal day I'd be all over his Japanese-y goodness.

When we got to the inn, it had a small bath house in the back that I was able to wash off in. It was blissful, to say the least. And fresh clothes were waiting for me too. It was a yukata—which I wasn't too pleased with, seeing as I hated showing off my legs. They were all fat and stuff. It was a deep purple at the bottom, then as it came to the collar it faded into a bright, sunset-y orange. It was pretty and was clean and smelled nice, so I put it on. Well, most of it on. I didn't know how to tie the obi, which was a richer shade of purple. Embarrassed, I made my way to the room Naniwa said he could be found in and had to have him tie it for me, holding the yukata closed with one hand as I went.

"It looks wonderful on you," Naniwa said as he finished tying the obi.

"With your hair so gold like that, it kind of looks like the sun is rising," Yoshiko chirped. "It's so pretty!"

I smiled down at her. "Thank you. And thank you for the clothes, and the bath. I feel much better."

"It isn't a problem. It was the least I could do."

I ran fingers through my damp hair, and it curled accordingly.

"Wow, that's amazing!" Yoshiko squealed. "I wish my hair did that!"

Kurando entered the room just as I finished combing through my hair, and we both froze as we looked at each other. I could tell he had just taken a bath himself, a small drop of water falling onto his kimono from his damp hair.

"What's wrong with them?" Yoshiko asked after a moment of silence.

"I'll explain it to you when you're a tad older," Naniwa said. "You're too young for such things."

"Well," I said briskly, moving towards the door. "Thank you for your hospitality, but I think Blanca and I should be getting back to our friends. I don't want them worrying about us."

Kurando still stood in the doorway, blocking my way, and he didn't move when I stopped in front of him expectantly. He just stared at me.

"That's a shame," Naniwa said, genuinely sad. "Hopefully you'll bring your friends to see us soon? We would love to meet them."

"Of course," I said, turning to answer him. "And thank you again for the bath and the new clothes. They're surprisingly comfy and maneuverable. I've never heard of sandals before." I looked down at my new knee-high socks and straw sandals.

"Not a problem, my dear."

I turned back to Kurando and scowled at him. "Well?"

"You look very nice," he said kind of dumbly.

"Thanks. Are you going to move?"

"What?"

I growled and pushed him out of my way.

"That means she likes you," I heard Naniwa say jokingly as I stomped down the hall. I didn't need to be psychic to know Kurando's face turned red.

"Come on, Blanca!" I said angrily as I came out of the inn. They hadn't let Blanca enter, so he had to wait by the entrance.

"What happened?" he asked, obviously aware that I was angry.

"I...I don't know. I'm just mad."

"So you're mad and you don't know why. Perhaps you made a move on that boy and he didn't fall for your charms?" he said jokingly.

"Shut up, Snowball."

"So, that WAS it."

"No, it wasn't! I don't love. Not in that way. So drop it."

I started walking down the street, not caring to see if Blanca was following, as Yoshiko burst out of the entrance of the inn. "Kisa! Kisa, wait! I have something I need to-"

A car screeched around the corner in front of me, and before I realized what was going on I heard the sound of gunfire, felt a very bad pain in my chest, and then everything went black.


End file.
